Since you asked...
I wonder what it’s like to hear confessions. What does a priest learn from hearing about people’s lives and spiritual striving?
This month with Fr. Mark Reamer, O.F.M.
“Hearing confession,” or perhaps better stated “celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation,” has always been a time of grace for me as a priest. I’ve found that the immediate context of a person’s life greatly impacts the examination of conscience that a penitent makes. For example, while serving as a priest chaplain in the Navy in Kuwait, I heard the confessions of hundreds of young men and women. We were in a combat zone, preparing for war and uncertain of what the future held. There was tremendous stress in our lives: loss of familiar surroundings, friends and family; fear of the uncertain days ahead; and more.
As I listened to confessions, I learned about the important relationships in the lives of these young people as they expressed their desire to be more loving, thoughtful, and patient, both with those they had left behind and those with whom they were now living in very close quarters. I also heard them reflect upon choices that they had made which they came to realize were not the best choices for their lives, and question the meaning of being involved in a war. The hand of God is very much at work in our lives, working through our brokenness and bringing healing. I don’t remember the particulars of what I heard or said, but I was grateful to be a priest and to have the opportunity to be an instrument of God’s peace where the ministry of the Church was at work granting pardon and peace.
There are moments in the familiar settings of Advent or Lenten reconciliation services, or youth retreats, in which a person will speak from the depth of his or her heart about a core relationship with God as experienced through the important relationships of his or her life.
What does a priest learn? I can’t speak for all priests, but I’ve continually discovered the truth of what Augustine said centuries ago, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O Lord.” I’ve learned in my 15 years of hearing confession that at the heart of all confessions is the desire to love and be loved. I’ve also discovered that people, all of us at our core, are good and striving to be better. At times in our lives, we make choices that are less than good, sometimes consciously, sometimes out of a lack of freedom.
Though sin is personal, sin is not private. Pope John Paul II of happy memory, in speaking about reconciliation, said, “There is no sin, not even the most intimate and secret one, the most strictly individual one, that exclusively concerns the person committing it. Every sin has repercussions on the entire ecclesial body and the whole human family.” The church’s rite for reconciliation of several penitents with individual confession and absolution helps to reflect this notion of sin as both personal and communal. I’ve learned of people’s genuine concern for the poor as they confess simply participating in a society that, by its nature, includes injustices.
Celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation is always an act of humility for me. I am often reminded of my own sinfulness as I listen to the confessions of others. It is about so much more than “hearing confessions.” For me, it is a privileged opportunity to be an instrument of God’s peace and healing.
It is one of the treasures of our Catholic faith that in the Sacrament of Reconciliation we have the opportunity to unburden ourselves, to speak our sins to a priest, to hear the words of assurance that our sins are forgiven, and to know that the “seal of confession” is absolute.
Whether it be the wonder and excitement of a child celebrating the sacrament for the first time, or the anxiety of a teen afraid that I might remember who they are, or the nervousness of someone expressing serious sin, God’s unconditional love and forgiveness of the individual is unchanging. As people acknowledge the reality of their sometimes broken lives in need of God’s healing love, it is a graced time to offer a few words of encouragement and pray the church’s prayer of absolution. It is one more reason that I am happy to be a priest and to serve the people of God.
Fr. Mark G. Reamer, O.F.M., is Pastor of the Catholic Community of St. Francis of Assisi in Raleigh.