Angels in the Family
For expectant mothers and their children, the Gabriel Project is a lifesaver
By Rich Reece
What does an angel look like? Kerry S. thinks she knows.
Ten years ago she was a single mom with a toddler, and seven months pregnant: “The father said he would marry me, but I didn’t think it would be a life-long commitment for him, so I said no, and he took off. The stress around that caused complications with the pregnancy, and I wound up on bed rest. I was alone here, no family, so I called St. Michael’s in Cary. I couldn’t drive to the doctor, couldn’t get out to buy groceries, and I asked for help. That was difficult, but I felt I needed to do it for my children.”
Kerry’s phone rang the next day. It was an angel calling. Her name was Catherine Baron.
At the time, Catherine was one of a few women at St. Michael who had volunteered to help unwed mothers with whatever they needed to carry their babies to term and raise them in a healthy environment. Another was Terry Sedito. Together, the women would eventually birth a chapter in their parish of an organization called the Gabriel Project.
The Gabriel Project began 25 years ago in the Diocese of Galveston-Houston, Texas, when a pastor placed a sign in front of his church offering to help any woman in a crisis pregnancy. Within a year, 60 churches, Catholic and non-Catholic, were participants. Today the project has chapters across the U.S.
To bring the Gabriel Project to a parish, the pastor must first give permission. After a plan is drafted and introduced, parish volunteers, known as “Gabriel Angels,” are recruited and receive training in pro-life principles, effective communication and resources. A woman who requests help from the project – she can practice any religion or none – is paired with an Angel from her area. The Angel may arrange financial, medical or material support, depending on the resources of the parish. Many expectant mothers need maternity and layette clothes, car seats, cribs or formula. Angels may organize a baby shower in the parish for the newborn. The project also aims to address the emotional and spiritual needs of expectant mothers. Angels-in-training are told:
“This is the most important part of the Gabriel Project. It is not the task of a Gabriel Angel to be a psychiatrist, analyst or social worker. What you do is much the same as you might do for niece or neighbor. Just be there for her: Take her to lunch, pray with her and for her baby, call her each week, drive her to doctor’s appointments or offer to baby sit. In short, be a sister, a helper, and a friend.”
Listening to Kerry tell her story, the importance of that caring is clear. Nearly a decade later, the young mother fights tears as she remembers her feelings at the time of her pregnancy: “It was a situation where I was from a family where I didn’t fit in… and these women let me know that I was loved, that someone was happy that my children and I were here. They made me know that I had made the right decision to keep my children.”
That someone was happy… One of the most striking things one realizes, hearing the experiences of Gabriel Angels and those they’ve helped, is just this. Most of us are used to thinking of a birth as a blessed event, something to celebrate. Gabriel Angels, like their namesake, bring that joy to women whose pregnancies are often seen, by society and even by their families, as an embarrassment or a burden, the fruit of immoral decisions, and a reason for shame. Angels lift the weight of judgment, and replace it with expressions of support and the happy anticipation that ought to accompany the debut of a new life.
“We see a lot of heartache and pain,” Catherine Baron says, “but lot of joy.” With Terry Sedito and Mary Bozza, another Angel from St. Michael, she remembers one of the first mothers who was helped. “She was Sri Lankan. She had two boys and when she was pregnant a third time had decided with her husband to have an abortion. But she couldn’t do it. She was Hindu, and life is every bit as sacred in that tradition as it is in ours.” A team of women supported the mother throughout her pregnancy. When her child, a daughter, was born, one of the Angels congratulated her on her beautiful baby. Smiling through happy tears, the mother said, “She’s yours, too.”
Not all the stories have standard happy endings. Sad and inspiring at the same time is the case of an Angel who actually took a needy mother and her new baby into her home when the baby was born. One day the mother left with no forwarding address. Now the Angel is raising the child on her own.
Today there are chapters of the Gabriel Project in many parishes in the Diocese of Raleigh: St. Luke, St. Raphael and Our Lady of Lourdes in Raleigh, St. Eugene in Wendell, St. Mark and St. Therese in Wilmington, and St. Jude in Hampstead among them. There is also a support group meeting at St. Joseph in Raleigh, known as Circle of Moms, where pregnant women and new mothers share prayer and friendship. Calls to Project Gabriel are routed through Birthchoice (919-781-5423), a counseling and resource organization for pregnant women; referrals also come from Catholic Charities and direct calls to parishes.
Can anyone be an Angel? Hearing about the heroics of some of the project’s volunteers, the role can seem a bit intimidating. According to Catherine Baron, however, there is a need for all sizes of commitment. “Sometimes it’s just mentoring,” she says. “It doesn’t necessarily take a huge amount of time.” She mentions a special need for Angels who are bilingual in Spanish. Terry Sedito agrees, remembering a homeless couple from Mexico. “They were living in a truck. They had a three-year-old, and the mother was eight months pregnant.” The couple called St. Bernadette Church in Fuquay-Varina, and the Gabriel Project was able to help the family with baby items and shelter.
“There is so much talent among our volunteers,” Sedito says. “If you want to get involved you can do as little as phone calls or cooking meals or providing transportation for shopping and the doctor. Some of the Angels do birth coaching or tutoring. Many donate stuff: Someone recently gave a car! We have a storage unit for baby supplies, and twice a year we have a clothing drive. At Christmas and on Mother’s Day we’ve done baby showers.”
Of course an underlying objective of the Gabriel Project is to prevent abortions, and helping the mothers is one of the most effective ways to achieve that goal. Mary Bozza cites a study showing that eight out of ten women who have abortions would choose to keep their babies if it weren’t for lack of material resources and pressure from families or the fathers. But the Angels are in mothers’ and children’s lives for the long term. Betty Rogosich, Director of Birthchoice, says that organizations like Planned Parenthood tell women that pro-life volunteers are “only in it for the baby. Once you give birth, you’re on your own.” Project Gabriel “spikes that idea,” says Catherine Baron.
Kerry S. agrees: “For nine years, Catherine and Terry have been a part of our life, a part of our family. When I gave birth, they came to the hospital. A holiday doesn’t go by that they don’t remind us that we’re loved and that people are thinking about us. Recently when my son finished third in his class they were the first ones I thought of calling. To receive the kind of unconditional love these women have given us has just been incredible. I like to think I’ve been a super mom, and committed to my children, but I couldn’t have done it alone.”