since you asked...
Sometimes I hear the words chaste and celibate used interchangeably. I don’t think they’re the same. Could you explain the difference?
Chastity and celibacy are not the same. If you are married, you are called to be chaste. If you are single, you are called to be chaste. If you are celibate, you are called to be chaste. Chastity is a virtue we are all called to embrace. According to the Encyclopedia of Catholicism, chastity is "the virtue that pursues the integration of the true meaning of human sexuality and intimacy, whether one is married or not." The Catechism of the Catholic Church places chastity as a virtue within the framework of the integration of our sexuality, the integration of our body and our soul. Chastity is not absence of sexual intimacy between married couples. A married couple’s sexual intimacy is an expression of the truth of their covenanted love.
Chastity is a virtue that, with the grace of God, one learns and must practice over a lifetime. The human person is a bodily and spiritual being. The virtue of chastity involves the integration of the gifts of body and spirit. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says:
Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. "Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of a conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end." 2339
And it should be clearly stated that it is slavery to passion, not passion itself, which is destructive. Our passion for food, for love, for peace, for human dignity, and for sexual intimacy is good. It is a gift of God. It is when our passions are out of control that they rob us of our dignity and our freedom. There is a great image in one of Plato’s dialogues, the “Phaedrus.” Plato describes the human soul as a charioteer trying to control two horses. One wants to run away, out of control. The other is gracious and benign. It’s the charioteer’s challenge to rein in the one horse and balance its passion with the spirit of the gentler horse. It is when the two work together that the human soul achieves its goal. So too with our sexuality. We must learn to control, not stifle or eliminate our passion for sexual satisfaction. We do this by listening to our conscience, illuminated by the grace of God, and the teachings of our Church. In this way integration will happen and we will know the freedom that comes from this balance.
Celibacy, on the other hand, means that a man or woman chooses to abstain from marriage and sexual activity. Celibacy is a gift freely given by God and in order for it to be lived well it must be freely accepted. The person who chooses celibacy does not surrender his or her sexuality. Rather he or she enhances it, puts it within a horizon of service to the human family. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, commenting on celibacy, says this.
Christ is the center of all Christian life. The bond with him takes precedence over all other bonds, familial or social. From the very beginning of the Church there have been men and women who have renounced the great good of marriage to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, to be intent on the things of the Lord, to seek to please him, and to go out to meet the Bridegroom who is coming. Christ himself has invited certain persons to follow him in this way of life, of which he remains the model. "For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it." 1618
Chastity is "the virtue that pursues the integration of the true meaning of human sexuality and intimacy, whether one is married or not." Celibacy is a gift from God to live without a partner intimately and to refrain from sexual activity for the sake of the Kingdom of God, thus dedicating yourself entirely to the life of service of the human family.
Fr. David McBriar, O.F.M., is pastor emeritus of Immaculate Conception Parish, Durham.