since you asked...

“I think God may be calling me to the priesthood. How can I learn whether this is really God’s will for me?”

When I was in my teens, I realized that there was more to life than just fitting in and being accepted by others. I had felt drawn to God in prayer and found an interior peace there. However, I also feared the possibility that God might be calling me to be a priest. I was afraid of missing out on certain life experiences; of being a public representative of Jesus Christ; of giving up the possibility of marriage and children; and of risking rejection by my peers. Couldn’t I gain eternal life and find peace simply by keeping the commandments? Did I really have to lose my life for Jesus’ sake in order to find my life? Did I really have to give Jesus my entire will, my dreams, my all?

It takes faith to hear God’s call and to respond to it. Faith is a gift from God and we should ask for it: “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” Although I considered myself a man of faith because I prayed, I realized that I would need greater faith to say yes to God’s will. God does speak directly to each of us, for we are called by name and from our mother’s womb. However, God’s message may be muffled by fear or muted by preoccupation with the world. We may have to sift through a plethora of emotions and motivations to clarify what God is really saying. Fortunately, God has given us others who can help us to do this. With that in mind, I would propose four steps in learning whether or not the priesthood is God’s will for you:

  1. Prayer: A consistent life of prayer is essential for anyone discerning the will of God. Prayer is more than telling God what we want or feel. It is God’s initiative: We pray well when we allow Jesus to be present in our prayer and to express His love and will to us. Jesus speaks to us where we are: He addresses our doubts and fears. If we pray, He will tell us of His unconditional Love which casts out all fear and He will instill in us the gift of faith. In prayer we will learn how to say, “Thy will be done” with real conviction. I would recommend praying in front of our Eucharistic Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and prayerfully receiving His mercy and grace in the sacraments. I would recommend praying with the living Word of God in the Scriptures. Finally, I would suggest drawing close to Mary in prayer: She is the model for prayer and helps us to do whatever her Son tells us.
  2. Questioning & Gathering Data: God has given us reason, so we should ask questions about what it is to be a priest, deacon, consecrated religious, single lay person or married man or woman. There are many vocational materials available and opportunities to “come and see” the life of a priest or religious. Vocation Directors are dedicated to answering questions and helping you gather facts. You may also solicit the opinions of others who know you well and whom you trust to be objective about your gifts. Many have experienced their vocation to a certain way of serving by being attracted to the charism of a saint such as St. Francis of Assisi or St. Ignatius of Loyola. However, being attracted to a charism or reasoning that one seems suited to a lifestyle is not the final word. Ultimately, what is needed is discernment of the movements in one’s soul.
  3. Discernment: Jesus called ordinary men and women, even great sinners, to be priests and religious. Peter once said to Jesus, after he witnessed a miracle catch of fish: “Leave me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Jesus reassured him: “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” Like Peter, we can reason that we are unsuitable or even pray to be excused from service based on fear. But it is essential that we discern from a position of faith rather than reasoning. St. Ignatius of Loyola, a master in the art of discernment, developed his spiritual exercises and rules for discernment specifically to help men and women avoid choosing a state of life based on a disordered motive. I would encourage someone discerning their vocation to consult an experienced spiritual director who is familiar with the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius or with one of the great masters of contemplative prayer.
  4. Confirming the signs: Discernment is ongoing. Recently, I met a man who felt he was being called to be a priest, but wondered if he should go off to college, to have that experience, before entering the seminary. I said that it would be better to pursue the call in an environment – such as a seminary – where he would be formed toward the goal of priesthood, rather than in a place where he might not have any formation experience. The seminary or novitiate or engagement period is meant to help confirm that one’s desire is from the Lord. To enter the seminary or to be a postulant in a religious order requires proper motivation, but not absolute clarity. In such an environment, the Church will help you confirm the validity of your vocation.

In my fear concerning my vocation, I wanted God to pass over me and call someone else. Today, after 11 years of being ordained, I thank God for my vocation as a priest; that He not only called me to the priesthood, but that He has also given me the gift to say yes to this call. I couldn’t have said yes on my own unless His grace was at work in me and He gave me faith to trust in His personal love for me. May Mary, the Mother of God, the first disciple of her Son, the prayerful daughter of Israel, help you in the discernment of your vocation.

Fr. Ned Shlesinger is Director of Vocations for the Diocese of Raleigh.